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date 15.Jul.2012

■ A mid-summer nightmare: windows 8

One morning when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found his desktop PC transformed into a horrible vermin mobile phone. "What happened to me?" he thought. It wasn't a dream. Then he remembered that a couple of days ago a crafty salesman convinced him to drop his trusty windows OS for a pittance. He was assured that the only minor inconvenience was going to be a missing start button. But now he was looking at his once pristine quad core number cruncher reduced into a clumsy cell phone. "What one pays is what one gets" he thought to himself, "what can one expect of a $40 upgrade price?".

Gregor was a travelling salesman but occasionally did more on his PC than checking his email and liking on facebook. That's why he saved to buy a quad core desktop instead of a poser's ipad. This new windows 8 was like having two left hands! The more he dug into it, the greater the horrors he discovered:
  • The standard windows maximize/minimize buttons were missing. You could only use one window at a time (!). Even the very first windows 1 version 30 years ago had multiple — albeit non overlapping — windows. Windowless windows sounded like a tease for a philosopher.

Gregor would have no more of this nonsense. He had enough of this new technology — a reductio ad absurdum. "This is how technology would look after a nuclear holocaust" he thought to himself, as he made haste to rid the vermin from his sight. But where the divine grace is the shut down button?

Gregor Samsa made a vow to himself never to fall asleep again after a heavy dinner.

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