"If you ignore the lessons of history you are destined to repeat the mistakes of the past"

My days as a free man are numbered. Next week I'm getting hanged married. All the lessons from history (Adam & Eve, Romeo & Juliet, Henry VIII & co, etc) haven't been heeded, all caution has been thrown to the wind and the deed is planned. Soon I'm going to find out for myself whether the alledged metamorphosis syndrome affecting many women as an allergic reaction to certain kinds of rings has any substance in it. On the positive side we have done our beta testing living together for 3 years without any major bugs discovered. So hopefully all my anxiety is unfounded and we'll get along nicely working for version 2 and all the other lovely things couples spend their married life doing together — especially in greece we share everything <g>. I love you Valeria!

Trying to keep myself cool and entertained, I dug up some of the best man/woman humor from my email archives that I hope you'll enjoy.

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A. 20 kilos

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

The great question...... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Sigmund Freud

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield (who? :)

After 20 years of marriage, a couple goes on a cruise. One night with a full moon, they are having a romantic moment on the ship's deck, when the woman asks:
— Darling, if I were to fall into the sea, would you rescue me?
— If I say "yes" will you jump?

Two friends discuss:
— After 20 years being married I'm still in love with the same woman
— That's amazing!
— I just hope my wife doesn't find out

I haven't talked to my wife for the last 18 months — I don't want to interrupt her

The last argument I had with my wife was my fault. She asked me "what's on the TV" and I said "Dust"

Father and son discussion:
— Dad, do you know what I've heard? In some remote parts of Africa, a husband doesn't know the woman he's getting married to before their actual wedding day!
— This my son, happens in all the countries

Ave Ceasar! For those about to get hanged, we salute you

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